There are a couple of reasons why this late-night post is dedicated to Ian McKellen.
Reason 1. I will be traveling across the ocean in a matter of weeks for the sake of expanding my horizons while getting credit for school. My destination: London. I consider my current Spinach Test to be research. I will, after all, be expected to become a Brit as soon as I arrive, and who better to emulate than the Brittiest Brit of them all, Sir Ian?
Reason 2. Perhaps I am late on the uptake, but it came to my attention earlier this evening that, on May 5, a new production of Samuel Beckett’s piece of mastery (mastery in this case is sometimes used as a euphemism for something else that usually comes out of one’s butt because not everybody sees the sophistication and social commentary in Beckett’s work), Waiting for Godot. And this production of Waiting for Godot stars none other than the good Gandalf himself. This makes me infinitely happy because Ian McKellen is like God only better because he’s gay and British! Not that God isn’t gay and British. Many brilliant scholars have pondered this issue and an answer has yet to be found…
But is Ian McKellen God when it comes to the Spinach Test? The answer is a loud resounding
No. Unfortunately, it seems that the general population of internet-users are a bunch of ignorant fops who do not know brilliance when they see it. I mean, who didn’t want to give burnt offerings to Gandalf after he killed a crapload of orcs in the span of, like, a bazillion hours in that movie everybody remembers and pretends to dislike?
Well, I am NOT a pretender! I love you Ian McKellen! No matter how many times you fail to appear in the results after I search “Ian McKellen spinach.” I will worship you like a failed actor turned teacher turned pastry chef turned Little Caesar’s franchise owner should!
Indefinitely yours with tube socks and cufflinks,
C. Somerset Watkins
